I woke up this morning to a lot of status updates of friends with their mothers. In spite of which I didn’t wish anyone or even my mother a Happy Mother’s Day. What I did instead, was wrote down small little things I’ve heard my mother say ever since I remember my childhood.

This has now become an article dedicated to mine and all moms so that they have a chucklesome Mother’s Day. Here’s presenting everything you’ve said to your child dear mom. Sit back and laugh on!

1. Just One Last Bite!:

Do you remember your 8 year old self? Sometimes you threw tantrums at the dinner table and refused to finish your food, I’m sure. And then an aeroplane hand would come in gracefully zooming! Mother would say, “Oh, I can already see your muscles growing! You seem to be getting stronger with this last bite.” It would take a couple of “last bites” to sweep your plate clean.Well, I never looked at myself in the mirror post lunch or dinner to check if ‘popat’ was written on my forehead. Did you?

2. What Would You Do If I Was not Here?:

Every time you find only one sock, don’t you just stop thinking and scream out, “Maaaaaaaaaa…”? If your mom isn’t there in 5 seconds and your sock isn’t found in the next 5 seconds, she probably isn’t home.

Every thing that you never find, will always magically be right before you when mom arrives! And this will be followed by the legendary dialogue “Kab bade hoge tum? Agar main yahan nahin hoti toh kya karte?”

3. I am Telling Dad:

This is a traditionally dangerous ‘dhamki’ and a weapon that targets just the right spot. These three magical words can mend ill mannered children and complete unfinished homework! Although the truth is, she never tells dad. 

4. Dhaniye Ke Paise Nahi Dene Hote… Aur Hari Mirch Bhi!:

I bet you can’t refuse that this has in fact happened to you. You’re sent to buy vegetables from a local vendor. When you return, you should have mugged up how much you paid for each item. And if by chance “dear beta” you’ve paid a coin for the coriander, you know what you’ve gotten yourself in to.

5. Does Money Grow On Trees?:

Scene: A kid picks up colour pencils, markers and fancy stationery at the supermart. 

The mother invades the scene and says the obvious, “You already have colours. And those funky erasers you’re buying, why do you need all that for school? Paise kya ped pe ugte hain?” Well mom, we bought so many designer crockery sets four years ago which still remain unused. Paise kya ped pe ugte the?

6. That is For The Guests:

Have you ever inspected the kitchen cabinets to find out how much untouched and shimmery glassware lies in there? Even if you have, you’ve no permission to use them because prospective visitors are more important.

Also, don’t forget to stay away from the snacks that are being served when the guests arrive. You can’t touch even a tiny little potato crisp until the guests have started!

7. You are Still My Baby:

When desi mothers mandatorily oil your hair, wake you up with a hug, straighten your collar or call out to you by your embarrassing childhood nickname in public, you’re still her baby. But dare to play mischief and act immature, won’t you hear her say, “Behave yourself, you’re not a kid any more!”?

8. Go Ask Dad:

All my trips and parties with friends and school picnics were preceded by “I don’t know, go ask your dad.” This was an asterisk marked, required field.

But when I’d muster the courage and ask dad, he reply, “Go, ask mom.”

Raise your hand if this has happened to you.

9. Khaana Khaaya?:

This one’s for all of you who stay away from home. In between those dozen calls that she makes to find out if you’re okay, doesn’t she ask you if you’ve eaten? You also get free motherly “gyaan” on what to eat and what not to eat.

Also, in school if you returned home without finishing your lunchbox, you know the drama that would follow!

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