Everyday you do one thing as a loyal part of your routine. You open the alarm app on your phone and set a traditional early morning alarm. You assume that you will wake up on time tomorrow and have a perfect start to your day. Your expectation – morning workout, reading a crisp paper, a healthy breakfast and reaching your office before time.
Hello reality – you press the snooze button, the alarm wakes your neighbour and he ends up being punctual for his college lecture. While you freshen up double quick, slip in to your half pressed clothes, instruct your hunger pangs to take a nap and rush to office, reaching at least 5 minutes late.
Not all of us like our jobs or our colleagues, but we still drag ourselves to the temple of “earning”. Because of course – food, clothing, shelter and well, life partners… ahem!
Talking about colleagues, they are the only source of entertainment through your day apart from memes you read in between your work hours. Colleagues are your supposed second family as you spend approximately 56% of your day excluding your sleep time with them. Well, do not take the “second family” phrase too seriously. It is impossible to fall in love with them.
Now, rewind to the time when you have clumsily managed to reach office. Here are the types of people you will spend your day with.
1. The Over Achiever:
She has already reached 30 minutes before the work schedule. Her productivity linked incentive is three times yours because she works pre and post work hours. Technically she is an under achiever because she cannot finish work when it is supposed to be finished – that is during work hours. But does the management care? They have been buttered. She deserves an A grade. Always!
2. The Nail Biter:
This is that colleague who never needs a manicure. Because work anxiety feeds on her nails! She is perpetually stressed over daily reports and deadlines. And she also uses a high percentage of her brain’s energy on the smallest of things because the figures in her excel sheet do tango when the warning bell is near. Do her a favour, hand her a glass of water please. And maybe tell her to relax?
3. The Late Comer:
That is you. You just entered 5 minutes late. This is probably your earliest appearance at work after your first day at the company. But then you see that one person who enters after you. And boy! The consolation that comes along with it. Don’t you know how it feels? You are not the only one losing a portion of your monthly pay cheque. You have got a true buddy!
4. The Foodie:
Look on either side when you are tired of constantly staring at your computer screen and there will be one table full of food. At all times. Always! It looks less like a work station and resembles a retailer selling biscuits, chocolates, chips and cake. He will also be kind to offer you a bite when you go to his desk. Because his jaws and teeth will be busy munching on a snack and would not be able to respond to your query any time soon. So you might as well take a seat and help yourself to a cookie.
5. The Caffeine Addict:
Your office coffee dispenser has a deep connection with this guy. He reserves a drawer to store extra paper tumblers just in case he exhausts the ones next to the machine. Coffee is his main course for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Rotis are just a side dish.
6. The Guy Who Isn’t:
You basically do not know who this person really is. This colleague is constantly not on his desk. Sometimes making calls outing, going out for a smoke break and even a hourly “Chai Break”. He probably seems to have achieved so much of work while no one was looking that he is perpetually tired for the rest of the day and thus, needing of a break. But considering he still has a job, he must be either good at his work or buttering the seniors. In either case, he is someone’s spirit animal.
7. The Eavesdropper:
Your office walls have a pair of ears that are always open. Your low tone phone calls and secret conversations with office buddies are under surveillance. The CCTV cameras may not function well, but this colleague always does. Did I forget to mention that these untold secrets always end up in the ears of the senior management?
8. The Newcomer:
Today a newcomer, forever a newcomer. Have not we all come across that colleague who never knows what to do? Because he joined the company as a fresher 5 years ago and will remain so until he retires. He keeps peeping into other people’s screens, living with the hope of getting a hint of what to do next. But the fact is, he still gets the promotion! Period!
9. The Procrastinator:
You cannot see this colleague because he is surrounded by files which he never (wants to) got to finish. There are a bunch load of benefits of this though. He will never get new assignments. He can nap any time of the day or watch Netflix on his phone because nobody will ever find out! Wait, is this why he always postpones work? Where is this guy’s appraisal sheet?
Have you come across these people at work? Let us know in the comments below and have a great weekend though the Monday blues are close. Also, do not forget to set your alarm.