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Shalini got into a relationship on the 15th of Feb, got engaged on the 17th and went on her first date on the 19th. Could have chosen a more romantic place than Big Chill but hey! who are we (219 likes) to judge that. Her fiancé should have worn a better colour to compliment her peach gown. His red suit with a black tie could honestly put Govinda to shame. But hey, we (79 comments) shouldn’t really bother with that either. Also, it might be considered a little desperate of her to add a life event of a relationship. Then add an engagement on Facebook just 2 days apart.

I mean a relationship that starts on the condition of getting engaged isn’t much of a relationship. However the 569 people on Shalini’s friends list should probably not care about that either. The cherry on the top though was when she put up a Snapchat story on the 29th of March with a romantic song and a dark background with the caption #MyFirst. Now was it the first kiss, the first job of hand, the first time she explored the land down under or simply the first time they exchanged the overrated 3 words? Absolutely hate it when people leave us guessing.

She meets her fiancé twice or thrice a week. But only during the day because that’s when all her check-ins come up on the news feed. Apparently, he surprises her with bouquets and chocolates in her office every now and then. I think if I spend a little more time on their profile, I can book tickets for their perfect honeymoon destination. I might also decipher the names of their future kids.

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Relationships these days are all about speed. Speed dating, speeder mating and speediest separating. There is big fear in today’s generation about ending up alone or ending up with someone who doesn’t really get them. That in itself causes a lot of half-hearted/uncertain decisions. You are not entirely sure if you want it or not. However, you would go along with it anyway. This so because you compare your work in progress to someone else’s finished article. You want to get where your friend is. You are completely oblivious to the fact that you have every right to live your life at your own pace and on your own terms. The cherry on the cake of these half-hearted, unsure decisions is the constant need of a portrayal of utopian life to the world around you.

Another shortcoming is that there is absolutely no sense of privacy in relationships these days. Everything you do and anything you do, needs to be on social media in one form or another. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook or even Whatsapp, the world needs to hear how crazy in love you are. Every minute of every hour of every goddamn day. It is almost like people won’t believe you can score a partner if you do not constantly update them about your love life.

The root of all this is insecurity in some ways. Trying to prove that you are happy. Trying to constantly show that you are content in your life to a world that already has a bazillion issues in their own life to give two sh*ts about yours’. A new relationship that is setting sail will come across different pastures to one that has been afloat in the sea for 5-6 years.

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Realize it, have patience to get where you want to be. Enjoy the journey rather than rushing into things and falling in love 3 days after you have met them for the first time. I mean, you are not even entirely sure if they poop with their phone in their hands. What if they are the kind who prefer HIMYM over FRIENDS? Or even worse – someone can not enjoy Baba Sehgal songs at 2 am in the night absolutely drunk?

The takeaway here really is that in trying to live fast, we end up living it wrong. In trying to catch up with the speed of others’ life, we lose out on the fun and the beauty. Just because someone else is putting their entire life on social media, does not mean you have to do the same. If you already have a clown who is doing that, sit back and think of some good jokes (and a possible career in stand up comedy). Lastly, if you MUST showcase your entire life online, at least give us some good meat to gossip about and not just the usual ‘can not wait to have your sperm in me BS’.

As one great man rightly said, “your best relationships in life don’t make it to social media.”

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